I’m two weeks back into full time work and I’ve tried to write this blog a few times in the past month but have struggled to condense my year’s worth of learning about myself into something short enough to digest. This isn’t as succinct as I’d like but these are the 7 things that have come to my mind first when I’m asked about my year off so I guess that means they’ve all had a big impact on my life. They are learnings that I want to take with me and remember going back into work and beyond, so this is as much of a note to my future self as it is to anyone else who’s interested in what I’ve learned!
1. The environment around me significantly affects my ability to function, concentrate and think.
I noticed pretty quickly after I finished work that I needed both a clear physical and mental environment before I could actually be productive. Perhaps naively, I thought I would finish work and straight away I would have all the time in the world to do the things I’d set out to do. However, because I still had lots of things on my mind and had tidy-yet-somewhat-cluttered spaces in my home I couldn’t concentrate properly on reading or learning. Cue a massive decluttering spree that Marie Kondo would be proud of I’m sure. So I now know I feel much calmer, relaxed and more able to focus when I have a clearer space around me (physically and online). I’ve also set up a OneNote for my life so that when I have things cluttering up my head I can stick it on the relevant list to do, or think about, later; that way everything is all in one place and I can get on with my day and not worry that I’ll forget about it.
To remember:
Make sure you invest a little bit of time keeping your physical, online and mental environments clutter-free and you will feel calmer and more able to focus.
2. It’s okay if I change my own plans.
This one has been a tough lesson for me. I’m not much of a planner usually but if I do say to myself I’m going to do something I’m pretty stubborn with myself and always feel like I absolutely have to do it. This year I had many plans of learning, reading, volunteering and travel. I’ve probably only achieved half of what I set out to do, but I’m learning to be okay with that because I’ve still achieved a lot. I’ve done some online courses, I’ve read a lot, I’ve had a few holidays but more than anything I’ve learned about myself and I might not have learned the things I have if I had been focused on getting the original things done just because I felt like I had to.
To remember:
Don’t stress yourself out by thinking you have to stick to something just because you said you would. If the reasons why you want to (or don’t want to) do something have changed that’s completely fine.
3. Habits rule all.
It may sound boring but sticking to a routine, even when I don’t have to, and creating good habits is key to me being productive and achieving my goals. When I first finished work last year I just enjoyed doing things when I wanted to, but after a couple of weeks I realised I wasn’t really making progress on my goals and time was getting away from me. So I sat down and wrote down a daily routine to give myself some structure. I found this incredibly helpful in making sure I could balance all the mundane tasks that needed doing, the more enjoyable, relaxing things, as well as doing reading and learning that I’d set out to do. I also created new habits like watching a TED talk with my morning coffee to inspire me for the day ahead- this has become such an automatic routine in my day now that I’ve kept it up since starting back at work. I’ve also learned a lot about habits not just from my own experience but from ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg which is a brilliant read.
To remember:
Making good habits and giving yourself a routine to follow will help you be productive. Give yourself the time to set them up in the first place and stick with them until they become automatic.
4. Everything in life is an opportunity to learn.
I’ve worked on my mindset a lot this year. I’ve often been told that I appear to be a really positive person but inside my own head things don’t always play out in a positive way, and like many people I worry a lot and can have a cynical default setting. But having read quite a bit on how mindset really does impact on how we feel about many aspects of our lives I’ve switched my default setting to see everything as an opportunity for growth and learning. This has been quite a hard one for me, and I’m sure it’ll be a challenge to take forward in a work environment, but the more I practice seeing opportunities to learn rather than a success or failure the more I hope this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Linked to this is a phrase I read in a book recently – ‘life is not a zero sum game’ – and it’s stuck with me. What others around me are doing or not doing should have no bearing on me.
To remember:
Life is on a continuum not a two-point scale.
Everything is an opportunity to learn and grow.
5. Exercise is as good for me mentally as it is for me physically.
This is probably an obvious one but I honestly didn’t believe the impact it could have until I made exercise a habit. This has been a slowly developing realisation after doing various home workout programmes the past few years but I truly began to believe it when I started personal training. I’ve never been one to get that rush of endorphins people talk about after physical exercise but I have started getting feelings of being proud of myself for what I can do. My PT has always had faith in me when I didn’t have it myself to do certain movements or use certain weights and that’s helped me over time to build my own confidence. I love seeing the small steps of progress I make in the gym and that’s taught me so much about enjoying the journey rather than just focusing on the end goal. And this approach to physical progress has transferred over into the way I approach many other things in life now (see learning no 4 above 🙂 ). In addition, spending time doing exercise gives my mind the space to wind down and relax. This has helped me in particular after my second day back at work where I felt overloaded and overwhelmed with information, I was tired and had about an hour free between finishing work and meeting colleagues for dinner. Even a year ago I would have defaulted to watching TV thinking that would help me relax but instead my habit kicked in and I did a quick workout. I came out the gym feeling like a different person and with a much clearer head.
To remember:
Enjoy the journey and celebrate small steps.
Even if you’re tired, go and do a workout and you will feel the benefit of a clearer mind.
6. Assume nothing.
I’m learning to make no assumptions and no judgements about anyone. It’s always annoyed me when people make assumptions about me before they really know me, but I’ve definitely been guilty of doing it to others in the past. Maybe it’s to do with my approach to living life more slowly now but I think I’ve been better at recognising when I do this and challenging myself to find out more information before having an opinion. You really don’t know what someone else is going/has gone through unless you’ve asked them, yet we all make quick judgements which essentially are made up of assumptions. So I’ve tried to make ‘assume nothing’ my default and that way it also encourages me to find out more about the person.
To remember:
Assume nothing until you know more.
7. Stay true to your mantra.
Another mental trick I’ve picked up is to have my own mantra to live by (I know, cliché and all). It’s pretty much a very short summary of the values I hold of how I want to live my life but in a succinct enough phrase that I can easily remember it! Now when opportunities, or anything really, crops up my mantra pops into my head and it’s easy for me to do a quick check to see whether the opportunity or thing is aligned to my values.
To remember:
Your mantra is there to help and remind you of what’s important.